Humanity Five...For real this time
by vamphile
Summary: The fifth instalment to the sequal to broken. Buffy, Angle, Xander Cordelia, willow and...FAITH


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and now...Part IV  
  
Angel awoke with a start, his book; previously resting on his chest fell to the floor. He didn't even glance towards the possible damage to the priceless text; he had other more pressing worries. That dream, it had been so realistic, so detailed. He hadn't had dreams like that since he was a young man, a human young man…that put them at about 250 years ago. He stood up and headed to the shower…not sure what else to do.  
  
Buffy heard the book fall, she considered approaching Angel, talking to him, but she didn't. She and Angel were honest with each other about everything, which was why she didn't want to approach him, she was afraid that when they began talking again she would be forced to ask the question that had been niggling at her for months now, and once it was asked it would be answered. Buffy, who was generally afraid of very little, was scared to death of what the answer might be.  
  
Buffy considered the implications of what he might tell her. She admitted to herself that it was not as if she hadn't held a few details back from Angel. As a matter of fact she had vauged up the 18 months between Riley's departure and Angel's reentrance into her life. She still cringed when she thought of those days. She wasn't proud of them, and she never told Angel for many reasons. She didn't want to face them, to tell him and somehow make it more real, and more importantly, or at least that's what she told herself, it would only hurt him. He had always wanted her to move on with her life, but if he knew about this, well, she could picture the hurt look on his face, and she almost cried thinking about it. Nope, best not to tell him. But still, she wanted to know about Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia was actually the furthest thing from Angel's mind at the moment, well, in all fairness, there wasn't a lot of blood getting to Angel's brain anyway. He found that his mind kept meandering back to his dream about Faith and each time it did he found himself more aroused. He pleasured himself in the shower, trying to convince himself that sleeping with Buffy, due to an erotic dream about Faith was just unfair to her, but in truth, he just couldn't deal with Buffy at the moment. He loved her…as if there had been a question about that since the day he saw her on the steps of her old high school, but, now in a relationship with her. A real one, things got complicated. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and toweled himself off. Glancing at the clock he realized it was already 2:00 am, he wandered down to the kitchen to grab a snack.  
  
Buffy looked up when he entered. She smiled, ready to forget the fight, or at least relive the tension. He smiled as well, but this little encounter did nothing to quell either doubts. He grabbed an apple, and took a large bite, so that he couldn't talk. He considered going for a walk, but then his stomach did a little flip when he considered that he would end up on Crawford. The idea of going to bed, lying next to Buffy and feeling her distance….that wasn't any more appealing. He walked back to the living room, confused and aggravated, he didn't want to leave the house, he didn't want to stay…just fucking perfect. He took another bite of the apple, and sat back down in the leather chair Buffy hated but he loved. He finished the apple, threw the core in the trash wiped his hands on his sweats and picked up the book he had been reading, relived that the fall had not broken it's spine. The argument that was brewing…would not be tonight.  
Xander lay next to Cordelia, she was sleeping, peacefully, actually snoring a little, Xander thought it was cute. He didn't thing there was much Cordelia did that wasn't cute. Well except one thing… she and Angel, Angel and she. There just didn't seem to be boundaries there. When they were together, it was as if they were a world of two. Xander had seen such behavior before, with Buffy and Riley, sometimes with Willow and oz, and most of the time with Willow and Tara. He had even had a few precious moments of it with Anya. Xander glanced down at his pregnant sleeping wife, she smiled in her sleep, and made a sound that resembled purring. Xander knew that sound…intimately, it was the one she made when she was perfectly contented, he heard it most in post coital cuddles, and in truth loved it, but now his mind flew to flights of jealousy. He was sure that she was dreaming about Angel, about her time with Angel. He had asked her before he proposed, back when they were still in the soul bearing part of their relationship, if she had ever slept with him. She swore it had never, not once been like that. He had believed her then, he was beginning to think it was a lie to make him more comfortable. Angel and Cordelia were too comfortable together, they touched, Angel wasn't in the habit of touching people, it was a centuries long habit, that he broke for two people, Buffy…and Cordelia. Xander was driving himself crazy, and he knew it, but he couldn't help it. He got out of bed threw a t shirt over his pajama bottoms and padded upstairs to see if Willow was awake. She was.  
  
Willow had been sitting on her couch, crying, not for any particular reason, or well, not for any unparticular reason either, it's was just that at 23 Willow hadn't expected to find herself so alone. Xander married to Cordelia, Buffy and Angel finally together, and herself, alone. She cried. And then she heard the soft knocking at the door. Her heart sank, her stomach flip flopped, two am visits on the hellmouth never boded well. She opened the door to find Xander with bed head and a sheepish gin on his face. The fear left. It wasn't the end of the world, it was just a friend.  
  
"oh, Xander, hi" she said, trying to hide the tears from her voice.  
  
Xander heard the tears, and immediately regretted coming to her for his problems, he switched gears immediately "hey will, I was just um, wondering, ah, can I borrow a cup of um, ah, newt?"  
  
"a cup of newt?"  
  
"well yeah, we're out and I'm trying to fill this order and um, well the store should be stocked and…" Xander trailed off, seeing Willow's smile he knew she wasn't buying a word of it. He contented on a more honest tack "I couldn't sleep, I thought you might still be up, might like some company"  
  
Willow moved aside so that Xander could come inside, her apartment was small but cute, with lots of weird angles and little nooks that can only be found in converted attics. But it was comfortable, and Xander always felt welcome there.  
  
"so what's up?" she asked  
"up, with me? Nothing, not a thing"  
  
"oh, well okay…you want some tea?" Willow knew he would tell her eventually  
  
"yeah sure, if you're having some, or um, a root beer?" Willow smiled, Xander may have grown up a bit, but his tastes hadn't sugar and salt were still the staples of his diet. She handed him a can and sat back down on the couch, turned a little to face him.  
  
"so, um, are you okay?" Xander asked.  
  
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine…why can't you sleep?"  
  
"will" Xander stared at her, you've been crying.  
  
"have not"  
  
"oh well then, you should get new skin, cause you're old stuff is all blotchy and tear stained"  
  
"oh, well, I was crying, but it's nothing, just the regular old two am sad stuff, my stuff, no big."  
  
Xander leaned closer to her, wiped a stray tear that had begun spilling from her eye again and said "I'm sorry. For whatever it is that's wrong…I'm sorry"  
  
The sentiment for some reason made Willow weepier, but she clenched her jaw, held it back and smile, a brave little smile.  
  
Xander flung his arm across the back on the couch, put his feet up on the coffee table and took a long swig of root beer.  
  
Willow leaned against him, her head leaning against his shoulder her back against his chest. It was a position they were both comfortable with. They had spent a lot of late nights commiserating with each other, sitting like this and watching the History Channel on TV. Back in the days before Cordelia and Angel had reappeared, back in the days before things had gotten even more complicated. Back in the days when Xander's worst fear was someone trying to open the Hellmouth.   
  
Willow sipped her tea, leaned her head back a little further so that she could look up at Xander. "Cordelia snoring?" she asked  
  
"yeah, she is, but that's not keeping me up, she's always snored, hell she snored back in high-school"  
  
"really? Hmmmm"  
  
"really. Nah, it's not her snoring. She's in love with Angel."  
  
"Xander…she most certainly…" Willow stopped, she wanted to comfort Xander to adamantly deny that his wife could be in love with anyone but him, but she wasn't blind, she had seen there connection when they had first gotten here, and she saw their connection now… just this morning she had been consoling Buffy regarding the same issue, Angel and Cordelia's closeness. She looked straight ahead at the American invasion of Normandy on her TV screen, she took another sip of tea. "have you asked her about it?"  
  
"what am I supposed to say? "hi, I'm a jealous goon of a husband, don't see one of your best friends because I don't trust you?"  
  
"well you could um, leave out the jealous goon part"  
  
"it will be implied"  
  
"inferred"  
  
"what?"  
  
"if you don't say it but mean it it's implied, if she thinks you mean it but you didn't say it it's inferred"  
  
"well then she'll infer the hell out of it"  
  
"but you're not jealous"  
  
"of course I am"  
  
"jealous of Angel?"  
  
"jealous of a cool good-looking broad-shouldered hero type who saved my wife's life and still has some sort of strong emotional bond with her…nah, why should I be?"  
  
"wow, that's a lot of sarcasm"  
  
"well, I'm feeling a lot of jealousy"  
  
"Xander, Cordelia loves you"  
  
"yeah, Xander grimaced and took another slug of root beer, but she loves Angel too"  
  
"but she loves you more"  
  
"you sure? Cause I'm not sure, and I don't think she's sure. I mean suppose she had to choose, who do you think she would choose?"  
  
"why would she have to choose? Are you gonna ask her to choose?"  
  
"Nope, I'm too chicken to do that"  
  
"so it's purely fear that keeps you from asking?"  
  
"yeah, well, no, not just fear…I mean there is a part of me that trusts her… and a big part of me that wants to trust her. Willow. I really love her."  
  
"I know you do. And even if there was something with Angel, once, It's history now. Cordelia wouldn't do that."  
  
Xander stared straight ahead. "I know. I don't think she would either, but then what were they whispering about this morning? And why can't she trust me the way she trusts him?  
  
Willow shrugged, and took another sip of tea. "oooh look, judgment at Nuremberg is on."  
  
"Willow, it's the history channel, this movie is always on"  
  
"so you're not going to stay to watch it?"  
  
"no, I'm staying." Xander settled in on the couch, not ready to go back to face his wife and her secret little relationship with Angel.  
  
  
Faith paced the floor. She had tried sleeping, and it had worked…sporadically, but every time she woke up she saw Angel, she saw herself killing him. And that's why she was here. Not to kill him, but to purge these images out of her head, the experiences she felt, in full sensory mode, she could smell the coppery blood, and feel the resistance and then give as the knife plunged into him. She had been having these visions for a while, about him, about Buffy, about Willow Xander, Cordelia, even Giles. She shook her head as she was physically assaulted by her own senses again. She had kept them under control for a while and while in prison they had even abated to simple ideation. But she had come back here, back to Sunnydale, to the hellmouth, and now, somehow she had to tell Angel that she needed help, that he was the only one who could help her. And he could, because he'd been cured.   
  
Faith never believed for a moment that even souled Angel hadn't relished the violence, he had, she had seen him fight, seen him patrol, and slay demons twice his size, demons she wouldn't have taken on alone. Angel had loved it, but now, now was different, he had become human again. That's what Faith wanted, too feel human again, to take a large enough step away from the darkness to declare it gone from her life. But she needed Angel for that, she didn't know why, she only knew that she knew. Angel was the key to it all.  
  
Angel was sitting in the chair reading again when he had a strong image of Faith stabbing him, he felt the fear as he watched his own lifeblood flow away. As he saw a final end to his immortality. He put the book down, and walked upstairs, Buffy had gone to sleep about a half hour ago, she was curled up in the fetal position, he knew if he slid into bed next to her she would uncurl, would mold herself to him, and a part of him longed for that, but the part of him that was afraid of what Faith was up to was stronger at the moment. He threw on a pair of jeans, grabbed a shirt and shoes out of the closet and put them on downstairs, and then he headed out into the night…to Crawford street. To Faith.  
  
Angel let himself in and watched her pace. She apparently hadn't slept. She was holding a large knife, one he knew well, one Faith knew well, it was the knife Buffy had used on Faith, the one she had used to lure the mayor. He would bet that Buffy didn't know that he still had it, nor would she want to. But he did, he kept it between the mattress and boxspring here, and so it had rested until now.  
  
Faith continued to pace back and forth her hand moving the knife, twisting it at her side as if it were a part of her. She had a half smile on her face, and Angel, for the first time sincere faiths return, felt fear.  
  
"Faith"  
  
Faith turned and looked at him, his hair rumpled, his shirt untucked, he looked more human than shed ever seen him, and she watched his face, he swallowed hard. He was scared.  
  
She followed his eyes to the knife in her hand. She had been so fascinated by it when she found it, that she had forgotten that she was still carrying it around. She had a brief flash of plunging the blade into Angel, his pain filled face and he ineffectually used his hands to staunch the flow of blood. She turned away from him, to purge the image, it worked momentarily.  
  
"I'm gonna have to ask you to give me that knife Faith"  
  
Faith pictured herself planting the blade between the shoulderblades of a certain blonde slayer. She switched the knife to her other hand.  
  
"Faith, this can't go on, not like this"  
  
She pictured slicing Xander open stem to stern  
  
Angel watched the girl, circling her slowly, she was lost in her own world of thought and he was wary, but he needed that blade, he didn't trust her with it, not yet.  
Faith shook her head quickly to dispel the images, she formulated the words, she prepared to ask Angel for help.  
  
But she couldn't , the words wouldn't come, she considered every variation and not a single response, not a single explanation would make it past her lips. She didn't know how to ask for help anymore.  
  
  
Buffy wasn't asleep, she heard Angel get dressed and once he was out the door she padded down after him, hating herself for not trusting him, and hating the fact that he was leaving the house at three am, where was he going?  
  
She followed him to main street and her heart sunk as her fears were confirmed, he headed towards the majik shoppe, but he walked past and took a right, Buffy continued to follow.  
  
She had time to realize the insanity of what she was doing, but she reminder herself that in her won words "love makes you do the wacky" and so she was. She followed the man she loved, the man she had always loved and trusted, past the main shopping district, through the industrial area, and saw him turn onto Crawford. Her heart was in her chest.   
Thoughts ran through her head  
  
did he and Cordelia meet here? she followed more closely now, Angel seemed lost in his own thoughts.  
  
He let himself in with a key and Buffy ran around to a window. Her heart stopped, Her stomach dropped, and her throat tightened.   
  
Faith  
  
Faith was there, he was talking to her, not surprised to see her. He was harboring Faith. Buffy's head spun and her anger, pure and beyond rational thought took over.  
  
She stormed into the house, two sets of brown soulful eyes turned, each surprised and scared to see her, each with their own reason.  
  
"Buffy" Angel started, moving towards her, as much to protect her from Faith and her new toy as to protect Faith from Buffy's wrath.  
  
Buffy shrugged him off "this is where you were going? I am a fist class chump"  
  
"Buffy this is NOT what it looks like."  
  
"looks like you chose to save another soul, regardless of what I thought, what I felt, what it meant to ME"  
  
Angel said nothing, apparently it was what it looked like, and the hurt on Buffy's face, he'd seen it once before, and he only vaguely remembered it, he's seen it when he had lost his soul all those years ago.  
  
"Buffy" Faith said it softly,   
  
Buffy glared at Faith, "don't pull that, 'oh I need help' game with me. It may work oh him" she gestured toward Angel "but I know who you really are and I'm not interested in what you have to say. What are you even DOING here?"  
  
Faith opened her mouth to speak, she tried to pull together a sentence that would explain the pain, the images, the need for help, but she couldn't, before another worked came out Angel exploded.  
  
"Buffy, Leave her alone, this isn't' about YOU, you always think it's about you…it isn't she came to ME for help. And she deserves help, she's trying Buffy, trying to get past what she's done, to find some forgiveness and some peace. But what are the first worse out of your mouth? They're about YOU and how my decision affects YOU. Have you ever even ONCE? Thought of what it means to save someone? Not to kill a vamp, or slay a demon but to personally SAVE someone? I guess not." He turned away from her, still angry but also unable to take the raw clearly readable on her face"  
  
"Faith took in the whole encounter, she watched as the solid foundation of trust the two star crossed lovers had was shaken by her existence, by her need and suddenly she knew what to do with the knife. She had no need to plunge it into Angel, no desire to see Buffy's shoulder-blades separated.  
  
Faith took the knife and in a single swift motion, she slid the razor sharp blade against her throat. She had a moment to feel the warm blood slide down over her breasts before she passed out.  
  
She didn't' have time to fall to the floor, Angel saw her movements out of the corner of his eye and he caught her, and held her too him, both of them becoming drenched in the burgundy deluge.  
  
Buffy sneered, oh look, another plea from miss 'help me help me'"  
  
Angel was walking towards the door "I can't even look at you right now"  
  
"fine" Buffy yelled after him "you won't have to look at me ever again…its over" and she pulled the engagement ring off of her finger and threw it on the floor. She then fell, sobbing to the floor. Angel didn't notice, he was headed at top speed to the hospital.  
  
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